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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25295884">At Least A Thousand Words</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katerany8910/pseuds/Katerany8910'>Katerany8910</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Camp Camp (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Hijinks &amp; Shenanigans, Humor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:16:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,485</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25295884</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katerany8910/pseuds/Katerany8910</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which David is the pit stop that handles what nobody else wants to, and he's not exactly okay with it either. And then he meets Max the self-proclaimed "world-ender".</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>David &amp; Gwen (Camp Camp), David &amp; Max (Camp Camp)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Atroscities of a 10 Year Old</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>List of things to never tell Gwen:<br/>
1. Her cooking is disgusting and I’d honestly rather burn down the kitchen then try it again.<br/>
2. I’m extremely bored with my current job, just like she said I would be.<br/>
3. I miss her a little.<br/>
4. Her boyfriend is a jerkface and the fact that he’s a ‘bad boy’ should NOT matter.<br/>
5.</p>
<p>        David left the last one blank, though it surely wouldn't be like that for long. There were a lot of things he saw in a day he could never tell Gwen about. Either because she would kill him or for the simple fact it would be too embarrassing.</p>
<p>	Not that he ever gets the chance to have heart-to-hearts with her anymore.</p>
<p>	Ever since coming to be a ‘rehabilitator’ in limbo, he’s had no time to chat with his BFF. Even before then, her boyfriend Rob (bleh, what kinda name even is Rob) occupied all her waking moments. Leading to David breaking into her house at midnight to see her. Leading to a fight, ending with his ill-advised move to the rehabilitation station.</p>
<p>	To be fair, there was no way he could’ve predicted that it would be this boring. I mean, all the signs said that it would be kinda fun. It’s better than his old job at least. There he was filing papers on who lived and who died. He didn’t get a single rare case in his 5 years there. It was a horrible way to spend his afterlife. Here he not only gets rare cases, but he also gets higher pay! Somehow though, it’s more boring than when he got zero rare cases. At least back then he had his friends to entertain him! Heck, after his third year he was even allowed to bring in a laptop and watch Flix. Here there would be none of that.</p>
<p>	In the beginning, it was fun. All the new and interesting cases, the excitement of first day jitters, new coworkers…</p>
<p>	That high lasted about three days. </p>
<p>	David quickly discovered that his coworkers were all far too old to connect with him. All of them nearing their 1,500th year. Which meant this was essentially a job for them to be in till they reached reincarnation age, or became high deities and got a section of the Universe to govern until they were ready to try reincarnation.</p>
<p>	Another downside, he always got rare cases. As fun as that might sound, it’s not. Eventually, all his patients' stories just blur into one big bore-fest. Plus it’s always horribly obvious where they should go and he usually never really ‘fixed’ any of them. Gwen, who had some kind of therapy degree or something, had told him that it wasn't worth it. Did he listen? No.</p>
<p>	Ah, there’s number five.</p>
<p>	5. She’s usually right about most things.</p>
<p>	Maybe he’d feel worse about hating his kinda therapist job if any of his patients went through anything traumatic. But honestly, most were just senselessly evil or creepily obsessively good. His job was to turn the crazy rejects into not crazy rejects so that they could peacefully continue their afterlife. Hearing all those stories supposed to be interesting at the very least, help him grow as a person at best, but this?</p>
<p>	This was none of that.</p>
<p>	David rustled his wings around until he found what he was looking for, a small notebook he hid in his feathers every time he went to work. He technically wasn't allowed to have it, but to be honest, it was the only thing keeping him sane. And none of the old people would tell on him anyway. So it was fine.</p>
<p>	The hallway leading to his office was a long one, uncomfortably long. He couldn't see why anyone would think that was a good construction decision. If a fire broke out, the hallway would definitely hinder his escape. Besides the fact one could develop serious leg muscles from trekking the hallway, it was also completely white. No decor, no plants, no paintings, just a boring white line. Which at this point, he had reached the end of. Thus ending his five minutes of asking himself why he did this to himself. </p>
<p>	For a moment David stood in front of the door to his office. Then he took a deep breath, put on a big smile, and walked into the room.</p>
<p>                                                                                         ⛮</p>
<p> At first, glance, what was inside his office was no surprise.</p>
<p>The office was still bland as the hallway (personalization wasn't allowed), with a single brown desk and two chairs. One a spinny chair behind his desk. The other was technically a couch and it was only for patients. The most interesting thing in the room was the potted plant he was expected to keep alive.</p>
<p> There was his boss, as usual, and a new patient, which though not usual, made sense since he just finished with another patient yesterday (originally meant to end up as an angel, but he’d learned a few things about her that no one else had bothered to check for, and well…). The strange thing was who the patient was. </p>
<p>	He was short with black hair and brown skin. His eyes appeared to be looking over and judging David as if he was the patient. He was slouched over in his blue hoodie and glared at everything in the room. But mostly at his boss, who was standing right next to him. He couldn’t have been older than 10, yet he exuded an aura that said touch me and die.</p>
<p>	After his brief examination of the kid, David attempted to send his boss a 'what the heck is this baby doing here' look, but to be honest, his boss looked even stranger somehow. He’s not sure how he didn't notice it before. There was bright pink bubblegum all over him. As if he walked into a pink spiderweb and just didn’t notice. Not to mention the fact that he was blushing, blushing of all things. David couldn’t help but let out a laugh.</p>
<p>	By the time he was done his giggle fit, the kid was smirking and his boss had started to resemble a tomato. On the bright side, this had lightened David’s mood a bit. On the other hand, his boss was so embarrassed he ended up walking out without saying why a five-year-old was in limbo. </p>
<p>	David turned back to look at the kid only to find him gone. A glance around showed that the door hadn't been opened again after his boss left scandalized. So he hadn’t fled. </p>
<p>	Looking around the rest of the room it seemed that he has neither left the room nor stayed inside of it. That was when he saw it. A tiny shoe wriggling its way into a vent he didn't even know was in his office. Reaching up, David grabbed the foot and began to pull the boy back into the room. After that, a lot of things happened in quick succession. David had pulled too hard and ended up falling back onto his desk, the sound from that hid the sound of the door opening and closing.  After regaining his senses David looked to discover he had only grabbed the kid's shoe and got back up to try to grab from him again. That was when he felt the most disgusting thing ever. </p>
<p>	Freshly chewed bubblegum. </p>
<p>	It stuck to his skin in such a way, that when he pulled his arm out of the vent it came out with dust all over. It also brought out the other shoe and a note that read “Later Sucker”. </p>
<p>	Just as David realized that yes, he had been tricked and that yes, he had lost the kid, he heard screams outside the door. Upon opening the door he realized that those weren’t screams of terror- or at least most of them weren’t. No, those were war cries which was somehow much worse. The eight-year-old who had just escaped from him not more than five minutes ago seemed to be leading the mutiny. He was at the other end of the unreasonably long hallway, but if he listened hard enough he could swear the kid was yelling “Yes crazies! Rise against your oppressors! Overtake the old hags and cronies! Huzzah!” David knew he at least heard the huzzah part right cuz soon after cheers of huzzah echoed across the halls. Somehow, the kid got his hands on a sword and he raised it above his head. This seemed to be a signal of some sort, and right after it was raised, the crowd began rampaging down the halls.</p>
<p>⛮</p>
<p>Seven hours later, David still could not tell anyone what happened then. Heck, he probably would think it was all some sort of nightmarish dream if the proof wasn’t scattered all over his body. He honestly didn’t even realize what was going on till after Gwen had picked him up from the hospital and asked him what happened. Even after that he just sat processing in her car till they arrived at his house. In the end, he didn’t say a word until Gwen had dragged him to the couch and went to put away her jacket. “HOLY SCARLET OAK!” he screamed, shocking Gwen who was raiding his kitchen for his coffee stash. “What the actual fuck David,” groaned Gwen as she rubbed the new bump on her head. </p>
<p>	“Gwen, you wouldn’t believe what happened today, heck I don’t believe what happened today. And I was there!”</p>
<p>	“You don’t say, what did you get in a fistfight with one of the old croons and lose. Cause that’s what it looks like to me.”</p>
<p>	“What no of course not, why would you think that?”</p>
<p>	Gwen heaved a large sigh. She loved David, really she did, but sometimes he was a little too much. “What am I supposed to think when I get a call from the hospital saying that you are covered in bruises and bleeding copiously from many places.”</p>
<p>	“Well, certainly not that,” David replied indignantly. “Do you think I’d lose to a bunch of elderlies?”</p>
<p>	“You wouldn’t have the heart to punch them,” Gwen said matter-of-fact-ly.</p>
<p>	David wondered briefly if this was simply one of those Gwen is always right moments. Then he decided he didn’t want to know. The idea of her being right about him not being able to beat an elder in a fistfight depressed him for a second. Then he remembered the work incident. </p>
<p>	“Gwen, you will not believe what happened.”</p>
<p>	“So I’ve been told.” The beep from the coffee maker had drawn her away from the conversation. Causing David to wait a second before starting his story. </p>
<p>	After Gwen started sipping from her mug (her favorite one, with 'I Don't Care' across the front in large print) David finally ran out of patience for her antics and began to tell her the story of the demon child who had driven the office into chaos in only five minutes. As he went he remembered more and more of what happened until he finally had a clear picture. He wasn't sure if what he ended up with was a comedy or a prison break film. Maybe a bit of both.</p>
<p>What happened after the charge was what could only be described as a hilariously crushing defeat. The kid stood on a white table in the foyer in the front of the hall, still waving the sword in circles over his head as the others charged (which wasn't safe at all). More and more people came out of their rooms to see what the commotion was which caused the commotion to get bigger, and the patients who had been with them escaped to join the conquest. Which left more than a few bruises on the old guys. David tried to run in and help, but he soon discovered that his arm was stuck onto the door with what must have been the stickiest bubble gum ever.</p>
<p>His boss came out into the hallway shouting "I'm the boss, what's going on here?" which only seemed to further enrage the rebels. They charged down the hall even faster. Most of David really wanted to go back into the room. In fact, the only part of him that didn't was his arm, which was still stuck on the outside of the door. He tried to put his hands up as a sign of surrender, but this was seen as an act of surrender and led to David getting beaten up. Meanwhile, the hellion disguised as a kid was cackling in the front. The sword was long forgotten as he rolled off the table laughing.</p>
<p>As the charge moved further down the hallway (along with his assailants), the kid slowly stopped laughing and stood up. He trotted through the hallway as if he'd been walking down it longer than any of them. The people who stuck their head out to check if the commotion was over got a mean scowl from him as he continued on down the hall, this immediately sent them scurrying back into the rooms. </p>
<p>When the mastermind of the catastrophe passed by David he looked both grimly amused and as if he was seriously trying to contain himself. He leaned down giggling over the mess as he plucked at the sticky streams of bubble gum David was tangled up in.</p>
<p>David took a moment to think about the situation he was in and how this must look to the child. David was a tall man (14 feet) with spindly limbs which were all tangled in the super sticky gum, this forced him to take a sort of ball shape on the floor. He was also still attached to the outside of the doorway and had a surplus of bruises forming on all parts of his body. Maybe even a cut or two. Heck, he was surprised the kid didn't burst out laughing, he did.</p>
<p>You see, David was a person who could find the humor in most situations. An abnormally happy person for one leading the life he was. Thus the laughter. The child, who was still there, gave the man a perplexed look. He looked genuinely confused as to why the man tangled in bubble gum had suddenly bust out laughing. David was pretty sure he was diving into hysteria territory, seeing as he found this funny too. He seemed widely at the kid, which only confused him more. Quickly, the child stood and began walking away. He paused only for a moment to turn back and yell, "That should loosen in an hour or not at all." Then he walked out just as quietly as he came in. Then David passed out.</p>
<p>Correctly remembering the day caused David to burst out laughing. That ended with him getting the same look from Gwen as he did from the kid earlier, which didn't help the matter. He tried his hardest to stop laughing, mostly because he looked like he cracked.</p>
<p>	(He also tried his hardest not to laugh when she choked on her coffee as he revealed the boy's age.)</p>
<p>(Spoiler alert: He failed.)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Relationship Between Ventilation Shafts, Bubblegum, and Inspirational Speeches</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Max's Point of View</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Humor is essential to a successful tactician, for the most potent weapons known to mankind are satire and ridicule, a quote from Saul Alinsky- a self-proclaimed radical. This was something Max proved true multiple times a day. Course, that didn’t stop him from dying.</p><p>Well, it’s not like he expected to live long anyway.</p><p>He and his friends were what you would call ‘chaotic good’ on the best days and ‘true neutrals’ on others. That didn’t bother him though. Even when they played both sides of the law, things usually ended up okay for them. The proof being the fact he didn’t have a criminal record. Since most other things ended up ok, Max figured that whatever was happening now would most likely have a good outcome.</p><p>Good for him at least.</p><p>🐾</p><p>Max had no clue where he was. Well, that’s not true. He knew he had died and thus knew he was somewhere in the afterlife. At first, he had assumed he was in heaven, due to all the white, but he knew that couldn’t be possible. He knew he wasn’t in any kind of field of punishment either. He felt no pain, though he was a bit chilly. The room he was in had four couches forming a circle around a table with a potted plant on it. While everything else was white, the plant in the pot was silver and stuck up kinda like a-</p><p>“Welcome, Max,” said a disgruntled voice. It was a chubby man who came waltzing down the long hall. He was probably the one who was going to take him to the underworld's version of prison. Which was fine as long as he got to keep his stuff. Wait, did he even still have his stuff?</p><p>A quick inventory check told Max that yes, he did still have his stuff, and yes Neil’s interdimensional backpack did work. He was glad he had been wearing it despite his previous doubts on its effectiveness. Neil had never gotten to test it out due to Space Kid destroying his interdimensional transport system before he could go through. Or at least, before he could send Nikki through.<br/>
Ugh, he missed them already. </p><p>The man was still quite a ways down the hall (which was strangely long), so Max took a moment to look for the untested invisibility drops Neil had invented. When he found them, he put two drops on the backpack and watched it disappear. The label on the invisibility drops bottle was surprisingly well done. Of course, most of it was just the words “Warning: Untested” over and over again, but after scanning it completely he saw that it should wear off in a day or two. This was specifically addressed to Nikki, who Neil probably thought would be the one to steal it.</p><p>Max placed the bottle back in the bag as carefully as possible for one who could see what he was doing. Then he reached into his pocket and took out another of Neil's inventions.</p><p>The bubble gum bomb.</p><p>To use this you simply chew and blow a bubble, then BOOM! Some of the stickiest, stretchiest substance ever all over your target. This was inspired by the moment Ered’s bubble gum exploded all over Harrison. Leaving him a sticky mess, much to Nerris’s enjoyment. The best part about it is if you simply take a piece outta your mouth anyone who touches it sticks like glue. Once Nikki asked why none of it ever got onto the chewer, Neil never answered.</p><p>Max threw the stick of gum into his mouth as his most-likely-jailer walked in. Max took a moment to give the man a quick appraisal, he didn’t really look like much. The man was chubby, so he probably had a reasonably high position to be getting all that food. Or maybe he was like that when he died. He wore a white tuxedo with a white button-up underneath. He had a receding hairline and a glittering forehead. Overall, he seemed a bit lacking. Like the kinda dud who was just waiting for this all to be over.</p><p>The man walked over to Max with a sorta haughty attitude, as if in the end they weren’t all stuck in the same situation. He took a deep breath in smiled and said “Welcome to Limbo, Max.” This honestly confused Max as he didn’t understand why he would ever end up in Limbo. “Now before you ask ‘why am I here’ or ‘what is limbo’ or some other stupid question like that, let me explain as we walk,” he said as he started to stride down a different hall.</p><p>“Limbo is a recently created program to get the people neither side wants and prepares them for a rejudging. If the person is to evil or too angelic, they come here and get that counseled out of them. Then when finished the courts decide their next move. You are a special case, my friend. The courts both wanted you instead of neither, so in the end, you got sent here. So to determine who gets you, it’s all up to your counselor. They’ll judge your character and decide where to go from there.”</p><p>The large man continued to walk down the hall until they reached an office near the end. Then he stopped, made a sharp turn, opened the door, and marched in. Max, after a moment of consideration, followed him. He didn’t honestly believe any of this man’s words. He seemed genuinely untrustworthy. Thus, Max would try to learn the truth himself. After he escaped of course. He’d noticed an emergency exit at the end of the hall which he could use. But first, he would need a distraction. There’s absolutely nothing to throw in the way of pursuers and no sharp turns to distract them with. While Max was never the slowest kid in the gym, he certainly wasn't the fastest. He knew that if he tried to make a mad dash through the halls, he would surely be caught. So he decided to play it safe instead and walked into the room.</p><p>🐾</p><p>The room was as plain as the rest of the building had been. Holding nothing of interest except a loose vent on the wall above a white desk and chair. Interesting.</p><p>A rough plan started forming in Max’s head. If he used the vents as a decoy he could escape through the door. It wouldn’t take much to knock the vent in, maybe just some thrown bubble gum and his shoes. But how to do it without looking suspicious was the question. </p><p>As his plot started working itself out in his mind, he heard footsteps approaching the door. He’d have to act fast. </p><p>Max blew up a bubble as fast as he could, turned toward the director, and before he could utter a what are you doing, the bubble exploded all over him. The man froze, and at that moment another walked in. Max didn’t immediately begin to size the man up, no. First, he scoped out the perfect hiding spot (underneath a couch which would definitely be impossible for anyone, not his size to shimmy under, then he took a moment to admire the directors blushing face, then he looked at the man.</p><p>The man was tall, freakishly tall, like the size of a small giraffe. It creeped Max out a little how much shorter he was than this man. As if his height wasn’t bad enough, the man had bright red attention-catching hair. His skinny knees and elbows seemed to be trying to match the red of his hair. He smiled so wide it looked as if his face might split in half at any moment. Max knew that this was the most horrifying man he had ever seen. </p><p>Max stopped focusing on the man as quickly as possible, letting his muscle memory take over while zoning out to finish his escape plot. The moment the now bubblegum clad man started walking out, Max began his plan. </p><p>Mr. Tall-And-Spindly’s eyes followed the chubby man as he made his exit, meanwhile, Max got into the perfect position on the floor so that the could roll under the couch. He timed his throw so that the clank of the vent would mesh with the slamming of the door. He rolled under the couch without watching to see his shoes hit the vent (he already knew they would) and waited for Mr. Tall-And-Spindly to notice he was gone. Luckily for Max, he was too tall to notice him down under the dark couch and first noticed the vent and his shoes. Max shimmied out and made it out the door as David was falling, then closed it under the guise of the falls noise.</p><p>The next part was trickier, he had at most seven seconds to make it down the long hallway and back to the foyer. If his assumption was right and that guy was important, he would’ve gone past whatever kind of waiting room the had to get to his office, just like in school. He likely would’ve pushed everyone out in embarrassment of his situation. They would all come to the foyer since this seemed to be the most central spot, and it had couches. Right after they arrive, Max needs to be getting on the table to grab what he was pretty sure was a weapon of some sort from the potted plant. Then he had to rally them into rising against the counselors.</p><p>So basically a Friday night back home. </p><p>As Max rushed down the hallway, he began to hear other people murmuring to each other as they approached. Max slipped in unnoticed and stood on the table in the center, watching them approach. If the old man had been telling the truth, these guys were either some of the most insane people out there or underpaid office workers. Both people always prime candidates for a good hostile takeover. Plus they all just got kicked out of their comfy area and had probably been waiting there much longer than him. Making them disgruntled, uncomfortable, and bored. Taking all this into consideration, Max began to talk. </p><p>“So the big man kicked you out of the room for some stupid reason, huh.” He received nothing more than a few confused nods and strange looks, but that didn't concern him. No that meant they were listening. “Why do you let him do that to you anyway, I mean you are the majority right. Heck, I bet some of you are even older than him. Why should he boss you around? Some of you just died, don’t you want to be able to sit comfortably?” </p><p>To this, he gets a few confused nods, more and more people are staring at the boy on the table as he speaks. There were definitely more people than he expected but that didn’t matter. He let the words sink in for a moment before speaking again, this time slowly raising his voice as he went. “You guys do all this work for him, keep the place running, and what does he do? Move you around at his heart's desire! And I bet the rest of you aren’t exactly happy about your situation either. You are recently deceased! You should get a bit more consideration than this.”</p><p>There’s a moment of silence hen quiet murmurs of agreement. The quiet doesn’t concern Max, he’s done this to many times for that. The important part is that he only has one more minute before people start noticing something is wrong. Fortunately, there’s only one thing he needs for this to work, a second opinion. And someone will speak up in three, two-</p><p>“I agree!” -one.</p><p>A lady in the back shouts out her agreement, loud enough for the whole room to hear. She doesn’t even need to say anything else now there is a sea of agreements flooding throughout the room. As people get louder, Max draws the sword from the pot where it was disguised as a fern. He waves it in the air to redraw their attention and establish himself as the leader of this uprising and then holds it down at his side. “You know what we’re gonna do about this? We’re gonna show them we aren’t doormats! Charge through the halls making as much noise as possible. Show them you cannot be tamed!” This elicits a series of loud cheers, and for just a moment Max thinks about how Nikki would always cheer the loudest when they did things like this, no matter how many times they revolted. Then he shook off the thought, he was busy with more important things than nostalgia. “Yes, crazies! Rise against your oppressors! Overtake the old hags and cronies! Huzzah!” Huzzah’s rang out amongst the crowd as Max raised the sword above his head and began waving it around like crazy. Then people began to charge down all four of the hallways leaving the foyer. Max grinned as he watched his perfect plan being made successful. Course, he always knew it would be. He thought, beginning to laugh in a way one might describe as crazy.</p><p>That’s what he was back home, a master tactician, a planner, a person who could always bring victory. Course a plan is useless without people to play it out. Him, Nikki, Neil, and the others never failed at bringing his plans to life. It was his favorite thing about their little gang, they never failed. Well, except when they did. But those times were rare and so nobody ever talked about them. It was almost an unspoken rule not to mention them. They all knew they weren’t perfect and why, they improved and used it, but they didn’t dwell on it. </p><p>Looking down the hall again, Max saw that the spirited rebellion had already made its way through the hall. He strutted down the hallway, the sight of him making others cower back into their offices in an amusing way, this made him want to laugh again. He held it in for the sake of looking cool. </p><p>Eventually, he passed by the man who was supposed to be his counselor. Max couldn’t help but stop and stare. Mr. Tall-And-Spindly had somehow managed to get completely tangled in the bubblegum, along with dust, Max’s shoes, and a score of bruises which Max was sure weren’t there before. His bright red hair was a mess and his pinkish-reddish limbs were wrapped in a ball, except for an arm that seemed to be glued to the outside of the doorframe, making him stuck. On his forehead, just above the man's eyes, was a note that said “Later Sucker” which may have fallen out of Max’s pocket when he threw his shoes and somehow ended up on his head. Max couldn’t help but begin to laugh as he played with the stretched out gum on the man for a moment. He was about to leave when the man began to laugh. </p><p>Maybe he has a concussion, Max thought. It was entirely possible. First, he fell down from the vent and then right after he got trampled by the human equivalent of a stampede. Of course, there was also the possibility of him being crazy. </p><p>A strangled “‘Ey I David,” pulled Max out of his thoughts as he looked down at the man who had presumably just told him his name. Definitely crazy. Max quickly began walking away. Then he figured he should probably say something back. And it had to sound cool. Max turned back and yelled "That should loosen in an hour or not at all," which sounded cool enough for something thought up on the spot. Then walked out of the prison cell disguised as a building.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3 - Five Reasons Today Was Different</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>1. Gwen had slept over, despite the fact her boyfriend had prepared a ‘killer date’. Heh, maybe he’s a serial killer.<br/>2. I woke up after the sun had risen instead of while it was rising.<br/>3.<br/>4.<br/>5.</p><p>I’m sure I’ll find more reasons soon. Who knows, maybe my mother will call for once, or maybe I’ll hear my boss has been replaced due to extensive trauma. The second one is more likely though…</p><p>About ten minutes after I woke up, I did get a call to work. The person on the line said that due to recent ‘harrowing experiences’ work will be canceled for the next three days so that we can heal mentally and they can repair extensive damages done to the property.</p><p>Guess that’s number three, three days off of work. Maybe four if I’m lucky.</p><p>You may not understand the exhilaration I’m feeling right now, you might be thinking something like oh, don’t you get off days all the time? Wrong. This is the first off day I’ve had since starting (technically that’s not legal, but it was allowed just this once they said). I’d compare this feeling to that of a child having a bunch of snow days right before Christmas Break. Or when after a big promotion you get a week off. Maybe even, though this may be pushing it a little, the feeling you get when on a camping trip roasting marshmallows with friends. </p><p>Surely, now you understand.</p><p>The marvelous start to my day improved my mood tenfold. I turned my podcast up to full volume as I got ready for the day. When I practiced my smiles in the mirror, they weren’t nearly as forced as usual. And when I went out to the kitchen, it seemed like Gwen had made me coffee ahead of time. Even rarer than her skipping out on a  date with her boyfriend. On the dining room table, there was a note from her stating that she had to leave for work but hoped I had a great day. An unusual sentiment from her.</p><p>Unfortunately for me, this feeling of euphoria wouldn’t last much longer. As I sat down to drink my coffee I noticed something was off about my living room. Almost as if everything had been shifted a few inches to the right sometime last night. Well, almost everything, the coffee table, and carpet were still in the same place. On the other hand, my couch, kitty beanbag chair, lamp, and tv all seemed to have moved in the night. </p><p>Once you notice one thing, it’s hard to stop noticing things. After realizing that all his stuff had been shifted, David questioned how Gwen’s coffee was still hot when she would’ve had to leave for work at least an hour ago. He also noticed that his door was unlocked. Upon closer inspection, he found out that it had been picked. For a moment he shamed the perpetrator for leaving signs which were so amateurish. Then he remembered this meant someone had been inside his home. That caused him to worry. </p><p>It made sense when he thought about it. What reason would Gwen have to shift everything a few inches right? Why would she ever leave the door open? The answer to both of these questions was that she wouldn’t. Gwen always locked doors, and her pranks usually had reason to them. Since he hadn’t recently offended her, he assumed it was the intruders doing.</p><p>4. Someone (with sloppy lockpicking skills) broke into my house.</p><p>That made the list of strange things.</p><p>David took a moment to think about his situation. He should probably be more scared. You know, since there could still be an unidentified intruder in his house. Overall though, he felt fine. He might not look it but David was plenty strong enough to defend himself. Plus, the fact that the person's lockpicking skills weren’t top-notch, kinda lowered his opinion of the intruder. Also, it’s not breaking in entering yet, since nothing's been broken, and they made him coffee, so it’s fine for now. </p><p>After a brief moment of consideration, David put down the coffee. It saddened him to do it, but he wasn’t nearly as dependent as Gwen was. So he figured it would be better to find the intruder and finish his drink later. </p><p>Seeing as David didn’t notice anyone downstairs, he first did a very thorough search upstairs. After about 30 minutes of searching, he felt confident there was no one upstairs. So he traveled back downstairs while still calling out for the intruder. Silly little things like come out, come out wherever you are and I won't bite. In hindsight, this would alert whoever was in his house, but the chance someone was still there were slim so-</p><p>David froze. </p><p>The absurdity of the situation in front of him was so severe it made him come to a complete stop on the stairs. He scrambled for his notebook and wrote down the fifth item.</p><p>5. The boy from yesterday is sitting on my couch, drinking coffee.<br/>🍁<br/> To be completely honest, David didn’t do anything for a long while. He was far too shocked for that. There were so many questions running through his head he couldn’t figure out what to do first. How did the kids find his house? Why was he here? What did he want? When would he be leaving?<br/>...Hopefully soon.<br/>After standing on the stairs for what felt like an eternity, the kid turned around on the couch. He just kinda stared at David for a while. He was drinking David’s coffee (with a straw!!! Where did he get that from???) and judging from the loud slurping sounds, he was enjoying it.<br/>He slowly took the straw out from his mouth and then did the 10-year-old equivalent of sizing David up. It’s kinda hard to size someone up whose over three feet taller than you. So it mostly amounted to awkward glances between them.<br/>“So you’ve stopped looking for me, huh?” the kid said with a smirk as he draped himself over the couch. If David wasn’t the owner of this house, he might’ve thought this was the kid's house. But David was the owner of this house, so instead of that, he was mostly confused. David offered the child an unsure smile. This wasn’t to be welcoming, that was simply his reaction to confusing things. A slight head tilt and smile was one of his most common reactions to problems. Gwen once said it both disgusted and amused her.<br/>Which is completely off-topic.</p><p>David walked down the last few stairs and stopped just behind the couch. The kid still looked the same as he remembered him, with the black hair and the blue hoodie and the slightly smug expression. David supposed that was a good thing since it meant he had suffered no memory loss. That would’ve been extremely concerning. Plus, going back to the doctors would be a lot of work.</p><p>The kid took the initiative to start the conversation. He started with something like “So you might be wondering why I am here,” and then continued rambling off how and why he was in David’s house. David heard none of this due to the fact he was still blacking out in his head. The boy stopped talking and gave David the driest look he’d ever seen and said, “You weren’t listening were ya?”</p><p>That’s when everything clicked for David, there was a child, on his couch, in his house, which was in the middle of nowhere. He immediately started his interrogation, “Who are you? Why are you here? How did you find me? How come-”</p><p>“Ah, ah, ah,” interrupted the kid, “I already answered those questions. You should’ve been listening. To sum it up shortly after my escape I realized I had nowhere to go. So I followed the ambulance to the hospital and then your girlfriend's car here. It does appear that I’ll need to crash here until my associates find me, kapeesh? Good, now I need more coffee.”</p><p>The kid got up and walked back to the kitchen presumably for more coffee. David took a second to collect himself and then he sat on the sofa next to the couch and tried to look as put together as possible. Why did it seem like the world had been against him recently? Maybe Rob was evil and rubbed his bad karma on David…<br/>David went over what was happening in his head. Unfortunately, he was no longer allowed to make multiple lists in a day (Gwen had decided it was a problem after an incident in the forest involving a list, a bear, and a ghost) but he could probably figure this out just as well without one. </p><p>David took a second to look over at the kid. He honestly felt sorry for him. It was always sad when a kid ended up here, and apparently, this one had done something so odd he ended up stuck in limbo with both sides making an argument for him. That could never end well, and most likely wouldn’t end soon. There was also a chance this would end in a bet which never went well since both sides were sore losers. </p><p>Besides that, the kid had had a rough go of it in life. His hoodie was too big for his to small body and had small tears along the bottom. His jeans had seen better days and if he and Gwen competed to see who had darker circles under their eyes he wasn’t sure who’d win.</p><p>Plus, his lockpicking skills still sucked.<br/>🍁<br/>By the time the kid had finished his coffee preparations, David had realized a few things. One was that the kid didn’t have anywhere to go. While usually, you would stay in limbo till you were ready for transfer, limbo was currently out of order. And Max didn’t get to go to wherever the rest of the mob was. Plus the authorities would laugh him out of the office if he reported Max. And even if they did believe him, Max wasn’t technically in the system yet so they wouldn’t be able to do anything with him. Since David’s morals wouldn’t allow him to leave a child outside (and he would be the only person outside- no homeless in the afterlife) he’d have to take him in. <br/>Another thing he realized was that Gwen would be disappointed in him for being a pushover again. One problem at a time.<br/>Third, he was pretty sure this kid was either extremely confused or in extreme denial. He said his ‘associates’ would pick him up but unless his associates were dead there was no chance of that. He had to know he was dead by now. If he didn’t he must’ve at least realized he wasn’t on earth anymore. He already knew he had nowhere to go. David would have to talk with him about that later, or maybe put it off till the last minute.<br/>Lastly, he realized that he hadn’t had breakfast. All trails of thought stopped there, breakfast was the most important meal of the day after all. He’d be darned if he missed it.<br/>David took a deep breath and looked at the kid who was now sitting on his kitchen counter enjoying his coffee. He didn’t seem worried that David would kick him out at all. What confidence.<br/>David released his breath and smiled one of his best smiles. He had made up his mind and was no at peace with it. Any regrets that came with this would be his fault. He was still the adult in this situation.<br/>David stood up and walked over to the kitchen counter where the child was sitting. He crouched down and opened a drawer just beneath him. Inside was all the Halloween candy he’d confiscated from Gwen who’d scared it out of trick or treaters. Reaching in, he grabbed a lollipop (cola flavored with biodegradable wrapping) and held it up in front of the boy. The boy (whose name he really should find out) looked a little confused at his offering. When he reached out to take it, David pulled himself back so that it would be out of reach. This seemed to confuse the child more, and David decided that meant it was his turn to talk. “I’ll give you this if you tell me your name.” <br/>A beat passed and then a small mumble was heard from the boy. It was pretty indecipherable though. When he reached out for the lollipop, David dodged out of the way. “You have to tell it to me in a way I can understand the kid.”<br/>“Not my fault you’re going death Mr. Tall-And-Spindly,” said the kid as he continued to chase David for the lollipop.<br/>What ensued was a game of cat and mouse throughout the whole house. David being the mouse. Course, unlike a real mouse he had much longer legs than the child. So whenever he was cornered he could just hold the candy above his head until he could get around the kid. The whole time they were running around David was yelling for the kid to just tell him his name already while the kid was bumping into everything in the unfamiliar house.<br/>🍁<br/>Their chase ended in the living room a bit later, with both of them panting while lying draped over the couch.<br/>“Would you please just tell me your name already?” David asked when he had finally caught his breath.<br/>“Fine,” the kid groaned. “It’s Max okay? Now give me the fricken lollipop.”<br/>Satisfied, David pushed over the lollipop from where he was recovering. He put on another smile and attempted to slow his panting as he spoke. <br/>“Why hello Max, the names David. How good are you at cooking?”<br/>They still needed breakfast after all.</p>
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